(Source: headproduct)
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!!
NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE…
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.
The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911.
Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life!
Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/major signal boost
Reblogging cause this could save someone’s life
(Source: rawworld)
(Source: psychoticmusic)
School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had cool padded swirly chairs or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick
Out of everyone on this list, I think Ariel from The Little Mermaid had the best pussy. She was a virgin and she was THIRSTY as fuck for ole boy. She sold out her entire species to grow legs to give him some of that mussy (Mermaid pussy). Once you do something like that, there’s no limit to what you’ll do to please your man, she was tossing salad and everything.
Pocahontas had already been ran up in by that dude she was supposed to marry, so John Smith was getting leftovers. Plus, she walked around barefoot, the soles of her feet were probably on some struggle shit. No bueno. I didn’t see her in not one pair of moccasins in the whole cartoon. She didn’t even need a flint to start fires, just rub them feet together over a tinder bundle and the blaze was on and popping.
The bitch from beauty in the beast probably has the most hollowed out cavernous pussy in Disney history. Even after he turned to human form I bet his loins were on some mandingo shit.
Princess Jasmine was a spoiled frigid bitch. The very definition of a pillow princess. The type of broad who licks the head of your dick three times and thinks her job is done. The type of broad who don’t ride dick cause it makes her legs hurt. The type of broad that always make you wear a condom cause she don’t like the sensation of cum running down her asscrack. Her only plus is she got that good Indian hair.
…..my childhood…
Oh
I can’t evennnnnnnnnn
(Source: thedisneyprincess)
